“The black guy always has all the answers.”
BORRACHO
I work as a screenwriter but my first love is procrastination.
Become a Japanese cyborg for as low as $1500 a month.
Great news for those who want to go on long walks with their disturbing robot dogs.
This week’s top story— Jamie-Lynn Spears’ stolen breast-feeding photos — may be shocking, but sadly it is just one more in a long list of shameful American milking incidents.
Five other mammorable scandals:
- Huge Yazoos Land Scandal (1795-1803)
- Milkpot Domes Scandal (1920s)
- Keating Five Suckling and Lactating Crisis (1980-89)
- Whitewaterer (1994-2000)
- Aboob Grab Prisoner Abuse Scandal (2004-5)
EPIC/FAIL ‘08: “We don’t make the financial collapses, we make the laws that make them inevitable.”
This financial collapse was a long time coming. Democrats share some responsibility. Most either supported or surrendered quietly to the GOP’s obsessive-compulsive deregulation over the last 25 years.
But while the Democrats may have acted like lazy safety inspectors, the Republicans were the bastards who actually built this structurally fucked economic shitscraper. And its epic failure isn’t the accidental result some careless mistake or miscalculation during construction. These ass-clowns perfectly executed what was spelled out in their economic blueprints.
The plans came courtesy of the policy architects at conservative think tanks whose hackneyed design philosophy is based almost exclusively on the following two beliefs: “The stock market crash of 1929 and resulting depression were a result of too much government interference” and “We could have won the Vietnam War.”
Unprovable? Pointless? Retarded? Sure. But they didn’t set out to win some lame hypothetical argument. That’s not real victory. No, these dickhammers actually set out to recreate the same circumstances in order to claim absolute philosophical victory via historical do-over.
Instead— with the epic failures of Iraq and deregulation— they’ve only succeeded in proving that they were dead fucking wrong the first time.
In one of his houses John McCain has two roommates. This is their story.
Corporate Bail Outs: The Next Generation. When the U.S. government goes busto bailing out huge financial institutions it will have to sell its worthless assets to someone.
“John Bush is his own man.”
The Daily Show nails it. Minutes 4:32 through 6:05 should be required viewing for every American who dislikes Bush and yet still considers voting for the Cadaverick.
McCain/Palin: What Plants Crave.
The GOP gathered in Minnesota this week and told America why, after eight disastrous years of Republican leadership, they need to elect John “The Cadaverick” McCain and Sarah “Hockey Mom-verick” Palin. The reason? They’ve got electrolytes.
